After hours of self reflection, I’ve come to the conclusion that 2016 was actually one of the best years of my adult life so far.

Did it come without blood, sweat, and tears?! Absolutely not… But it did start with me being honest with myself. I wasn’t happy where I was and I needed to get out of my situation for the sake of my mental health. And from there I had to ask for help. 

I grew up with this idea in my head, this mentality, that “I’m the strongest person in the world; I don’t need anybody; and I’m going to do it all on my own” and I have no idea why. Still working on figuring that out. My parents certainly didn’t raise me that way or put that idea in my head. So, please understand me when I say this: IT HURT TO ASK MY PARENTS FOR HELP. It hurt because in my mind, I failed. I couldn’t do it on my own. And to be honest, I absolutely loathed it. I moved back in with my parents at 26 (who does that?) and I was so angry with myself for failing. And while it hasn’t all been sunshine and rainbows, I’m extremely lucky to have parents who love me so much that they’d let me come home until I figured out what to do next. I believe 100% that if I did not have the support from my family and from my very few close friends, this year would not have been a successful year.

My best friends are the ones who suggested I ask for help. I don’t want to think about where I’d be if they hadn’t suggested that. To the girls in my Girl Gang, you have been my rock this year. Thank you. Thank you for loving the deepest, darkest most depressed parts of me and all the while believing in the strength I had tucked deep down inside of me. I know without a shadow of a doubt that I would not be where I am today if you hadn’t pushed me to be honest with myself. 

All of that being said, I had a really good 2016 and here’s why:

-I stood beside two of my best friends as they said “I do” to the loves of their lives

-I watched someone I care about make a chance career move and succeed.

-I befriended an acquaintance during a road trip and it has been one of the most rewarding and fulfilling friendships I’ve ever had

-I met the most inspiring and hardworking man who makes me want better for myself & makes me believe in my dreams again- and he doesn’t even know it

-I got completely out of the bar industry (I do not miss those long hours)

-I have a “Big Girl” job

-I ran into a deer who decided [for me] that I needed to buy a brand new car

-I set a goal & saved enough money to be “on my feet” again to feel comfortable moving out of my parent’s house

-I’ve learned that it’s ok to ask for help, especially from your parents

-I quit drinking coffee and have more energy now than I ever did

-I pretty much quit alcohol, too. With the exception of occasional celebratory wine, because well, wine is wine

-I cut out the toxic relationships in my life and am 100% better for it

-I’ve become more intentional with my actual relationships and less intentional with social media

And last but most importantly: I’m working on being happy with myself again. It’s been a process that has taken so much internal reflection, it’s insane (and I might be a little as well) but I’m learning so much about myself that I either a) forgot about or b) disregarded  or c) never knew or d) refused to believe in the first place. It’s been frustrating, overwhelming, joyous at times and full of tears, but it’s a journey that’s been long overdue.

2016 was one of the best years of my life, because for once in my life I chose to care about me. I chose to look inside and fix the parts of me that are broken. Don’t get me wrong, I still put others before myself on the DAILY because it’s just part of who I am, and it’s not going to change. But I realize now how important it is for me to take care of myself, too.

I’m going into 2017 a little healthier and a tiny bit happier. Cheers.