Okay, so I had every intention of starting this blog about a year ago. Maybe a little longer ago than that. And this post has been sitting in my drafts for about that long.. We’ll call it a ‘New Year’s Resolution’ that I never actually followed through on, because let’s be honest, who does? Well, the old me would have. The me of the past, who was so bogged down with extra curricular activities but still found time to write. I’m not that girl anymore, but I wish I still knew her to some degree. What happened? Life. Life happened. And it kicked me in the ass.

Rewind.

It all started on my 25th birthday. Okay, not all of it. Some of it was a snowball effect, but that’s a part of my life that I’m not prepared to reveal yet. Anyway, for my birthday, a friend took me to see the Philadelphia Eagles/Atlanta Falcons game @ the Georgia Dome.

It was supposed to be a good day. I was going to see MY team play LIVE for the first time… I was super excited!

……..ANDDDDDD……… It was probably the worst football game I’ve ever seen the Eagles play (they lost and I’m bitter about it, but not as bitter as I am about what happened after that). This is about to get rough, and if you know me you know I don’t like being vulnerable or talking about the things I’m going through. So PLEASE, if you’re close with me and didn’t know some of these things, I’m sorry that you may be hearing it for the very first time. Thanks for sticking it out with me now.

Long story, extremely short, I was fired from both of my jobs within about 3 weeks of each other for something a coworker did and wouldn’t admit to. Within those same 3 weeks, I was also broken up with, had my car broken into while parked in a parking deck where I could SEE MY CAR, had acquired a $667 ticket (which admittedly WAS my fault), and could no longer drive my car by the end of the month because it wouldn’t pass emissions. I’m telling you, when it rained IT POURED. And that was just in the 3 weeks post turning a quarter-of-a-century old. The big 2-5. When your whole life is supposed to all of the sudden make sense and fall into place. Tell me why was mine falling apart?

So there I was, the first of October. No job, no car, no money. I couldn’t apply for jobs; I couldn’t get there. So guess what went unpaid for? That’s right. Utilities. The unraveling continued. I ended up (miraculously) getting a job at the beginning of November and found a way to make it to and from there. At least I was able to pay rent. I had a roof over my head.. I was fine. I was in survival pioneer woman mode. One by one, I was able to turn my utilities back on. Water was first. Then gas. It was the dead of winter and it was FUCKING cold. The fees to turn them back on basically killed me, and finally, after 3 months I was able to turn the electricity on. HALLELUJAH WHAT A DAY.

Surely things will start looking up now, right? Upward spiral? Forward motion? Wrong. Let me say this with complete certainty: Pick your roommates wisely. I think I’ll leave the roommate story for another day.. Just please, if you take nothing else away from reading this, remember that when your name is on all of the bills, that makes you responsible for those bills, even if your roommates don’t give you their portion of said bills. Also know that there are a few people out in this world who owe me a solid amount of money.. which I will most likely never see.

Let’s flash forward to May/June time frame where I was (and still am) absolutely honored to be in my two best friend’s weddings. But let me let you in on a little secret if you weren’t aware already: Weddings cost money. Between the shoes, dresses, bridal showers, invitations, food, decorations, bachelorette parties, makeup, Uber rides (notice I don’t have my car fixed yet), I was dropping heavy amounts of cash. Once again, I was broke. And still car-less. And depressed. And lonely. And most importantly, despite being told what a great job I was doing, I felt useless. My life could be likened to a big pile of unraveled yarn lying in a heap on floor. Something had to give. I needed to get out of that godforsaken house, and more importantly, out of Atlanta.

Refresh.

So I did. I accrued even more debt by putting a rental truck on my credit card and I hauled ass out of there. Not really. I tried to host several yard sales to get rid of some stuff and downsize as much as possible first. I also made sure I had a job lined up for when I got to where I was going, which just so happens to be the place that every mid-20 something fears having to go. Home. Y’all. I moved back in with mom and dad. After not living at home for 8 years. It’s been quite a shock and one hell of a ride.

I’m super lucky. My parents are amazing and have slowly been helping me get back on my feet. Dad and I found a mechanic to fix my car and get it to pass emissions. So, not only is my car drive-able, I was able to get my license back and become a resident of this state. YAY!

( I have since wrecked said car and bought a new one.. stupid deer).

Renew.

Well, I’m still working on this one. A constant work in progress physically, mentally, emotionally, and financially. And if you read my very first blog post, you kind of know that already. And if you haven’t- feel free to check it out after this one (if anyone’s even stuck with me through this one). If you’re still reading this, thank you. Today hasn’t been a good day, and this week hasn’t been a good week. My emotions and my mental state are a complete and total wreck, but I needed to get some of it out and this seemed like a good place to start. In the next few days/weeks I’m going to delve a little deeper into the darkest corners of my mind and I hope you’ll stick around. You might learn some interesting things about me as I learn about them myself!

Cheers.